Why Are We So Poor?

A story of comparison and choice.

— by Sheridan Stewart —

Back when my stepsons were in primary school, the youngest came home one day after visiting a friend’s house and asked, “Why are we so poor?”

We’d recently purchased a four-acre property with a turn-of-the-century cottage (no, not this century, the last one), which was advertised as Renovate or Detonate. Most people would’ve done the latter. Meanwhile, my stepson’s friend lived in a newly built estate where the houses all have four or more bedrooms, big bathrooms plus an ensuite, large lounge and entertainment areas and a tiny backyard or courtyard.

“Walk with me,” I suggested. As we went around the property, saying hello to the donkeys and goats, crossing the creek where an old tyre hung from a tree as a swing, up the embankment that the kids enjoyed riding their home-made billy cart down, I asked if his friends, who loved visiting our place, had this much space to play in? He shook his head.

“Do they have a creek?” He shook his head.

“Do they have donkeys and goats?” He shook his head again.

“We are so rich,” I said, with a sweeping gesture, “that we have all of this!”

Despite my sage advice, I still need to remind myself to step away from comparison, especially regarding Money (yes, with a capital M) and how I perceive others to be better off than I am.

We don’t all get the same start in life.

Some get a leg up; others don’t.

Some inherit, others don’t.

Some choose a career that brings home the bacon; others choose a role that comes with a smaller wage.

When my parents divorced, Mum raised my siblings and me on a single-parent pension. The theme around money was, “We can’t afford it.” Despite the financial restrictions, each of us has gone on to have successful careers in the Arts and Media. None of us are wealthy compared to, say, CEOs or many business people but all of us have rich lives.

I’m in the same age group as Elle Macpherson and Kylie Minogue, whose images were front and centre for us Gen Xers. Elle is 1.82 m tall and weighs approximately 64k. Kylie is 1.53, weighing around 46k. I’m 1.65 and weigh more than either of them. Comparing myself to Elle or Kylie is not helpful. Even if we were all the exact same height and weight, we’d still be remarkably different.

We are, each of us, unique. Our careers and our physiognomy are unique. Our entire lives are unique to each of us. The sooner we stop comparing ourselves to each other, the more likely we are to become content with all we have, do and are.

A couple of years after the “Why are we so poor?” conversation, my stepson stood on the front veranda with his arms outstretched and declared, “We have all this freedom. It’s awesome!”